I've been home long enough to deal with the tough question many times over: "So.... how was your trip?" An obvious question in this situation. I just wish I had a better answer. "Great" just never seems to really capture all that I hope to convey.
"Great" doesn't do justice to the amazing community we felt as a team, how we prayed together, for each other and with each other, how we witnessed God at work together in unexplainable ways.
"Great" doesn't communicate the excitement of seeing families again, hugging and kissing them again, spending time in their homes again, and being humbled again by their hospitality and generosity.
"Great" doesn't decribe how amazing it is that people from completely different cultures, from completely different worlds, who speak completely different languages are able to enjoy each other, laugh together and cry together.
"Great" doesn't hold a candle to witnessing a team of Americans who stand out in a Muslim community, who are loved by this community, and who are truly demonstrating the life that Jesus lived.... a life of sacrifice based solely on LOVE.
"Great" doesn't describe the ways that my faith has been challenged, how my ideas of evangelism have been annihilated, and how the Lord is showing me how very little of anything I do is motivated by love.
"Great" doesn't say any of those things... and yet, for some stupid reason, it's the word I find myself using to describe my trip whenever I am asked.
So, if you've asked me about my trip, I'm sorry for my lame response. And, if you see me in the near future and ask about my trip, I apologize in advance for my "great" answer. Forgive me. It's a tough one to put into words.
July 29, 2009
July 24, 2009
The Heart
You have GOT TO, simply GOT TO go to the Preemptive Love website to see an amazing post. It is a VIDEO of Mohammed's heart surgery. The actual video of this 10-year-old boy's chest cut open and his beating heart being FIXED by the doctors. It is absolutely phenomenal.
Wow. It is just an indescribable sight. I've watched it multiple times and I will watch it again. The heart... the beating heart.... the center of our physical lives and the core of our spiritual selves. How do these work together? Where does one end and the other begin? I don't know... something about seeing this physical heart causes me to wonder about the spiritual heart and how much God desires just that - our HEART.
"I pray that the eyes of your HEART may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe." Eph. 1:17-18
" ...for God sees not as the man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the HEART." 1 Sam 16:7
"...the love of God has been poured out within our HEARTS through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Rom 5:5
Click HERE to go to the website, then scroll down to the video posted on July 24.
Praise our MIGHTY heavenly Father for the miracle of heart surgery.... for the amazing skill of doctors, the incredible passion of PLC workers and interns, and the sacrificial love of those who donate to this amazing cause.
Wow. It is just an indescribable sight. I've watched it multiple times and I will watch it again. The heart... the beating heart.... the center of our physical lives and the core of our spiritual selves. How do these work together? Where does one end and the other begin? I don't know... something about seeing this physical heart causes me to wonder about the spiritual heart and how much God desires just that - our HEART.
"I pray that the eyes of your HEART may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe." Eph. 1:17-18
" ...for God sees not as the man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the HEART." 1 Sam 16:7
"...the love of God has been poured out within our HEARTS through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Rom 5:5
July 7, 2009
For my trip to Iraq (July 9 - 19), our group of 5 is blogging on a GROUP BLOG. This way, you can hear about this trip from all of us. I hope you enjoy it!!
July 1, 2009
New Little Friend
Whit had a new friend over to play the other day. He inquired about some artwork on the wall and was intrigued when he found out that Whit had two brothers. Of course, the question prevailed... where is this other brother? I explained to him that Whit had a brother, Paul, who died a couple of years ago. He nodded thoughtfully and returned to the boys' room to play.
I was in the kitchen when he returned. Did Paul die of the swine flu, he wanted to know. No, I explained, he was very, very sick with a disease called cancer. Then our new little friend had a lot of questions about how long Paul was sick (I think in his 6-year-old mind, you are sick for a couple of days... maybe a week, and then you get better). I saw the bewilderment in his face as I tried to explain to him that Paul was sick for years - sometimes he would feel good and then he would feel badly again. Once he had enough information to process, he trotted off to play again.
In a little while, he came back to ask some more questions. At some point, it came up that Paul was bald for a while. When I told him this, his eyes got big and he immediately asked to see pictures of Paul. Well, howdy, I can tell you I was thrilled to oblige. I pulled out a photo album that a dear friend made that we keep on the coffee table, and poured over pictures of Paul in all his different hairstyles.
Then New Little Friend caught a glimpse of all of Paul's 24 cars that are lined up in our china cabinet. Being very astute at the fact that these precious toys are locked behind glass, he asked, "He doesn't like anybody playing with those even though he's dead?" I explained that these were just a few of Paul's cars, and I asked if he wanted to see the rest. As we made our way into the guest bedroom and I reached under the bed to pull out and dust off the car collection, New Little Friend said, "I bet you miss Paul a lot, don't you?" I sat down on the floor with this little boy and Paul's Nascar collection - not knowing whether I wanted to cry or jump for joy - and agreed with him that yes, I miss Paul VERY much.
When we moved to the closet, and I pulled out yet another huge vat of more cars, New Little Friend couldn't contain his excitement. "Wow. Paul had a LOT of cars. You must've bought him everything he wanted because he was sick." Now it was MY turn to be amazed. He'd pegged us in a matter of minutes!
I don't get to talk about Paul as much as I would like. I don't get to see anyone enjoying his Nascar collection as much as I would like. I don't get to show off pictures as much as I would like. Thank you, New Little Friend. Come back whenever you want... and make it soon...
I was in the kitchen when he returned. Did Paul die of the swine flu, he wanted to know. No, I explained, he was very, very sick with a disease called cancer. Then our new little friend had a lot of questions about how long Paul was sick (I think in his 6-year-old mind, you are sick for a couple of days... maybe a week, and then you get better). I saw the bewilderment in his face as I tried to explain to him that Paul was sick for years - sometimes he would feel good and then he would feel badly again. Once he had enough information to process, he trotted off to play again.
In a little while, he came back to ask some more questions. At some point, it came up that Paul was bald for a while. When I told him this, his eyes got big and he immediately asked to see pictures of Paul. Well, howdy, I can tell you I was thrilled to oblige. I pulled out a photo album that a dear friend made that we keep on the coffee table, and poured over pictures of Paul in all his different hairstyles.
Then New Little Friend caught a glimpse of all of Paul's 24 cars that are lined up in our china cabinet. Being very astute at the fact that these precious toys are locked behind glass, he asked, "He doesn't like anybody playing with those even though he's dead?" I explained that these were just a few of Paul's cars, and I asked if he wanted to see the rest. As we made our way into the guest bedroom and I reached under the bed to pull out and dust off the car collection, New Little Friend said, "I bet you miss Paul a lot, don't you?" I sat down on the floor with this little boy and Paul's Nascar collection - not knowing whether I wanted to cry or jump for joy - and agreed with him that yes, I miss Paul VERY much.
When we moved to the closet, and I pulled out yet another huge vat of more cars, New Little Friend couldn't contain his excitement. "Wow. Paul had a LOT of cars. You must've bought him everything he wanted because he was sick." Now it was MY turn to be amazed. He'd pegged us in a matter of minutes!
I don't get to talk about Paul as much as I would like. I don't get to see anyone enjoying his Nascar collection as much as I would like. I don't get to show off pictures as much as I would like. Thank you, New Little Friend. Come back whenever you want... and make it soon...
June 21, 2009
Dreaming
I had a funny dream the other night. I dreamed that I was at a party, and I had parked my car in the host's front yard. As I was going to leave, two men approached me to tease me about where I parked, saying stuff like, "So... where you come from, do you put your appliances on the front porch as well?" As I was laughing, I noticed that one of them was Jeff Gordon! So, I took the opportunity to tell him all about Paul, and he cried.
As I was thinking about that dream, it occured to me that for a while after Paul died, whenever I dreamed about him, he was alive. Then there was a while that I dreamed about Paul, and he was alive, but I somehow knew that I was dreaming. Even though everything seemed very real, I didn't want to wake up, knowing that it would all be over. Now, I'm dreaming of life after Paul.
Like most things in my life right now, I prefer the way it used to be.
As I was thinking about that dream, it occured to me that for a while after Paul died, whenever I dreamed about him, he was alive. Then there was a while that I dreamed about Paul, and he was alive, but I somehow knew that I was dreaming. Even though everything seemed very real, I didn't want to wake up, knowing that it would all be over. Now, I'm dreaming of life after Paul.
Like most things in my life right now, I prefer the way it used to be.
June 14, 2009
Demonstration of the Spirit
This summer, I decided to start reading through Corinthians. My plan was to get through both books, but so far, I've been stuck on the first 3 chapters of 1 Corinthians.
One verse in particular has been on my mind. It caught my eye, and I have been working on it for a while now. I'm sure I've read this before many times, but never quite like I have this month.
Paul writing to the Corinthians:
This verse brings me relief and challenges me at the same time. I am relieved as I prepare for Iraq, as I nurture my boys, as I work at the clinic, that I do not have to know or come up with the right words or phrases... the "magic words" that will bring salvation to someone.
I am challenged as I realize that what I AM called to do is to "demonstrate the Spirit." I have struggled with exactly what that means. I haven't completely grasped it yet, except to know that it isn't something I can do, but something that I must allow the LORD to do through me.
Demonstrate the Spirit... demonstrate the Spirit... demonstrate the Spirit...
This is my prayer right now... that the Lord would demonstrate His Spirit through me. My confession is that I'm not completely sure what that prayer really means. Possibly, that's a good thing because if I knew, I may not be so willing to pray for it.
I rest in the knowledge that I don't have to completely understand God's ways for Him to work in my life. Praise the LORD for that!
One verse in particular has been on my mind. It caught my eye, and I have been working on it for a while now. I'm sure I've read this before many times, but never quite like I have this month.
Paul writing to the Corinthians:
My message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in the demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God. 1 Cor. 2:4-5
This verse brings me relief and challenges me at the same time. I am relieved as I prepare for Iraq, as I nurture my boys, as I work at the clinic, that I do not have to know or come up with the right words or phrases... the "magic words" that will bring salvation to someone.
I am challenged as I realize that what I AM called to do is to "demonstrate the Spirit." I have struggled with exactly what that means. I haven't completely grasped it yet, except to know that it isn't something I can do, but something that I must allow the LORD to do through me.
Demonstrate the Spirit... demonstrate the Spirit... demonstrate the Spirit...
This is my prayer right now... that the Lord would demonstrate His Spirit through me. My confession is that I'm not completely sure what that prayer really means. Possibly, that's a good thing because if I knew, I may not be so willing to pray for it.
I rest in the knowledge that I don't have to completely understand God's ways for Him to work in my life. Praise the LORD for that!
June 6, 2009
Shad Faraydoon Hama (11-18-99 ~ 6-6-09)
Shad passed away this morning. Blood clots continued to form in his body, eventually filling up his lungs until he was unable to breathe.
Please pray for his dad, who will be in Istanbul until Tuesday when he can take his son's body home.
Please pray for Shad's mother, who is still in Iraq.
Please pray for Jeremy, as he comforts and consoles Shad's father.
For more information, check out the plc blog at www.preemptivelove.org/blog
In the midst of this sadness, I am tempted to forget about the four kids who had successful surgeries this week and have healthy hearts for the first time in their lives. Join me in praising God for the blessings of Roman, Heran, Shwan and Lawen.
And join me in praising God for Shad... a little boy created in the image of God, whose life was knit together and carefully planned by his loving Holy Father.
Please pray for his dad, who will be in Istanbul until Tuesday when he can take his son's body home.
Please pray for Shad's mother, who is still in Iraq.
Please pray for Jeremy, as he comforts and consoles Shad's father.
For more information, check out the plc blog at www.preemptivelove.org/blog
In the midst of this sadness, I am tempted to forget about the four kids who had successful surgeries this week and have healthy hearts for the first time in their lives. Join me in praising God for the blessings of Roman, Heran, Shwan and Lawen.
And join me in praising God for Shad... a little boy created in the image of God, whose life was knit together and carefully planned by his loving Holy Father.
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