No Doctor Required

I love my job, but sometimes it can be scary.  I don’t mean scary in the sense that I’m afraid for my physical safety; I mean scary in that I have a serious responsibility to our patients.  It is easy for me to forget that.  We have incredible doctors and nurses who are, thankfully, present every clinic night, and sometimes I can see my role as merely administrative.  Shame on me.

Recently, a young man came to clinic asking to see our psychiatrist, who wasn’t scheduled to be in that night.  I sat down with him to find out more about his situation.  He didn’t give me a lot of specifics, but it was obvious that he was struggling with some serious mental issues.  Thankfully, I had some mental health training through Mission Waco, and I knew to ask a few key questions: Are you having thoughts of suicide? Yes.  Do you have a plan? Not exactly.

Here’s the deal: this young man had insurance through his father’s employer.  He had access to mental health care, so I was a little perplexed as to how I could help or why he was here.  Then he began asking me questions like: as a Christian, how did I view mental health issues?  It became obvious that he was struggling with seeking help because he had been told that his faith should be strong enough to overcome his problem.  Suddenly I was grateful for all those conferences and workshops that had forced me to re-think, re-evaluate and untangle my own view of mental illness.

We talked, we prayed, and as I watched him go, I realized that this well-educated, middle-class, articulate young man with plenty of health insurance didn’t need our volunteer doctor.  He needed to hear that mental health problems didn’t mean he lacked faith.  He needed a fellow believer to tell him it was OK, that he was not alone, and that God had not abandoned him.

We all need that occasionally…

When Insurance Doesn’t Cover It

I’m not really sure how this guy got the Mission Waco Health Clinic phone number.  When I answered his call, I realized I was a third party on the line with him and his insurance provider (Care Improvement Plus).  I have heard a lot about CIP, and I was aware that although this Medicare supplemental covers dental, its coverage is extremely spotty and not a single oral surgeon in town accepts it.  Once the insurance rep had me involved, she was more than happy to hand off this frustrated patient to me.

So, I listened for over 20 minutes as Timothy complained about his situation.  He had been trying to get 3 problem teeth pulled for over 2 years!  One day, he saw a commercial on TV that looked promising.  He called the local dentist who assured him they would accept his insurance.  Hopeful, he went immediately to the dentist’s office where, according to Timothy, the dentist performed (and charged him for) a service that his insurance didn’t cover, and informed him that he needed oral surgery, which this dentist couldn’t perform.

Now, I know there are two sides to every story, but the bottom line is that Timothy really needed his teeth removed, and he was beyond frustrated at his lack of access to care even though he had dental insurance!  I could hear the frustration building in his voice as he jumped from story to story about how he felt taken advantage of.  Honestly, I was beginning to get frustrated myself… I was tired of listening to him complain, and I did not appreciate the fact that he was spewing all his anger onto me.

Finally, I interrupted him and told him that we could get him access to an oral surgeon who could pull his teeth at a minimal charge.  For the first time, there was silence on the other end of the phone line.  For a moment, I thought we had been disconnected, but then I realized that Timothy was crying!  Just like that, this angry, frustrated man melted into a grateful, blubbering patient.

Many of our patients – for good reason – feel taken advantage of and helpless to get the services they need.  Sometimes this frustration spills over into anger and bitterness.  Lord, open our eyes to the needs of those around us and help us to see the world from the perspective of the least of these.

Change: a Four-Letter Word

“Vera” is one of our only “permanent” patients.  Typically, our goal is to meet our patients’ immediate need, and then to help them become established patients at the Family Health Center (via the Good Health Card or the County Indigent Card).  However, Vera lives in Marlin, which disqualifies her from both services.  Since Falls County doesn’t have any health care options for the uninsured, Vera will come to see us whenever she can scrape up enough gas money to make the drive.  The drill is always the same: she signs in around 4:30, and then leaves to go eat at the Salvation Army before returning to clinic.

I wish I could say that Vera was a charming, pleasant woman…that she was oozing with gratitude for the services we provide.  Honestly, she’s a little difficult and sometimes crosses over into being downright rude.  But in the very slow process of getting to know her over the past year or so, I think I understand: Vera doesn’t want to be here.  She doesn’t want to need us.  Like most of the poor we serve, she wants to be self-sufficient and do for herself.  Every time she comes to clinic, it is a reminder that she needs the help and handout from others.

I used to believe that Vera needed to change her attitude and realize that she is receiving FREE medical care and show some appreciation.  However, recently, I have begun to realize that it is MY attitude that needs changing.  The systemic issues that keep Vera where she is and that need to be overcome begin with ME.  I will never contribute to solving these deep-rooted problems until my beliefs and assumptions about the poor change.

Thank you, Vera, for that gentle yet constant reminder…

What an AMAZING trip!!

We had an incredible time in Iraq!  I know that many of you were scared for us and also believed I was insane to take my son with me to such a "dangerous" place, but I assure you that we were completely safe and the trip was life-changing for both of us!

This is a picture of Whit with Ali, a boy who had recently had heart surgery.  They are showing off their scars.  Whit was also able to meet Mohammed (another recent heart surgery patient).  He took soccer balls to them (the "real" soccer balls are not available in Iraq and very much a hot commodity), and they were thrilled to meet each other.  Amazing that soccer and scars can overcome any language barrier!

We also visited many IDP families (internally displaced persons) in Kirkuk and Kanakawa.  It is hard to put into words the situation:  people who have been driven from their homes by the threat of ISIS, families who are existing on next to nothing because they do not have the means to work.  One of the things that we in the US don't fully realize is that it isn't just Christians who are being persecuted by ISIS.  Muslims are by far the biggest victims.  Just because they are Muslim doesn't mean that they agree with the teachings of ISIS.  It would be like extremists coming into your city in the name of Jesus and demanding that women not work, not wear jewelry, that everyone attend one particular church and follow their strict teachings about marriage and children.  This is what is happening in Iraq to Christians, Yezidis and to Muslims.

Noor and her market

This picture is a young mother who is trying to keep her children in school.  Displaced by ISIS, she had no work and no source of income.  The Preemptive Love Coalition has helped her start a local market so that she can make ends meet.  We also spoke with a woman whom PLC has helped start a salon.  These are just two of the many, many families who are in need.  They aren't asking for a handout - just a start... just a small amount of help so they can begin a new life and support themselves.

One of the most memorable places we visited was Kanakawa, where PLC is helping 5 families who are living in an abandoned storage facility.  These are families who you read about and saw on the news... who were driven up into the mountains by ISIS.  At least one of the families' husband and father was killed by ISIS while fleeing.  They spent days on the mountain with no food and no water. These are young families with nursing babies!  I sat with a woman in the blazing hot storage room while she nursed her baby, who was sweating and restless.  He was irritable and hot, but Jessica and I were unable to determine whether or not his heat was due to fever.  But what difference would it make?  They do not have transportation to a hospital. (The day after I left, Jess texted me to let me know that she took a doctor to see this baby and he determined that he was OK - just teething).

Selfie - Iraqi style!

Enjoying toys we brought

I must admit that it is difficult for me to come home to my air conditioning, pantry full of food, my security and freedom.  As a follower of Christ, as one who has been ordained to care for the needy and stand up for the rights of the afflicted, how can I just ignore what is taking place?  Maybe because it's happening so far away to people I don't know.  And yet, I know this is just an excuse.  Where is Christ in all of this?  He is in US... in his people whom he created to be his hands and feet.  Shame on us if we turn a blind eye to what is happening in our world.

I have only increased my respect for the Preemptive Love Coalition, and their commitment to be peacemakers in Iraq... to LOVE as Christ calls us to love... to sacrifice as Christ sacrificed... to GO when and where they are called.  It's not easy, and it isn't glamorous, but it IS Christ-honoring.  Check out the amazing work they do at The Preemptive Love Coalition

Whit and I will leave tomorrow (Sunday) for Sulaymaniyah, Iraq!  We are going to work with the Preemptive Love Coalition.  They are a wonderful organization that we've been involved with for years.  Please check them out on-line.

Sulaymaniyah is in the northern part of Iraq, known as Kurdistan.  Because this area is relatively safe, many refugees have fled into Sulaymaniyah due to the threats of ISIS.  PLC has been working to educate and empower the refugees in their city.  Whit and I are excited about helping out!

I'm not exactly sure how easy it will be to update (electricity is very unreliable), but I will try to post to this blog.  I might also be doing an occasional Instagram post, so feel free to check us out there as well (Leigh_Saxon).

Our trip will be from June 28 until July 9.  We would be grateful for your prayers. My hope is that we will be able to serve and bless others, and that in the process, Whit will understand more about God's passion for the people of Iraq.

Peace!....

Like many of our patients, she had recently come upon hard times. Middle-aged, divorced, and jobless for many months, she had the unglamorous privilege of sleeping on a friend's couch every night. New to this thing called social services, she didn't know much about navigating the system. "Deborah" was out of her blood pressure medicine. She was thrilled to have finally gotten a job interview, but she didn't pass the physical because of her high blood pressure. Without insurance or means to pay, she had no way of getting a prescription for the tiny pills that would lower her blood pressure and open the door for her to get a job, regain her dignity, and maybe even get a place of her own. 

Can you imagine her frustration? Without a job, she couldn't get health insurance to get her medication, but without her medication, she couldn't get a job. That's where we came in. Thanks to our caring volunteers, Deborah soon had a prescription: her ticket to new possibilities. As I escorted her to the exit, she suddenly stopped and started searching inside her purse. "Oh, I want to give you guys a donation, but I don't think I have any money." I put my hand on her arm to stop her, "Why don't you donate next time?" I asked. She looked up at me and burst into grateful tears.

Little Boy Blue...

He was so young that I suspected he might have Medicaid.  In fact, I checked his date of birth to see if he was over 18.  Turns out, he was 22.  After his paperwork was completed, one of our student volunteers called him back to be triaged.  When I wandered down the hall to check on things, I found him hunched over in his chair crying, with our volunteer on her knees beside him.

While he was in a room waiting on the doctor, I went in to meet "Matt."  I asked a few questions, and soon he was weeping - hard... like shoulders-shaking-and-fat-tears-running-off-his-nose hard.  I listened as he poured out his heart about a lost childhood and a strained relationship with his now-divorced parents.  I couldn't help but think this was an 8-year-old boy in a 22-year-old man's body. When I asked about his faith, he told me that he no longer had any.

These are the situations that antibiotics and a Good Health Card can't fix. These are the places where we dare not tread without the power of the Holy Spirit. This young man was reaching out to strangers because his community had failed him.  I spoke with him about Hope and God's pursuing love, but mostly, I just listened.  It was hard stuff to hear.  Our doctor spent a lot of time with Matt as well, and she took the time to treat him with dignity.  As we both stood next to him, I couldn't help but think that we really weren't being doctor and director, we were both just being who we were: moms.  We were mothering this young man who desperately needed parental love.

After we both prayed with Matt, the most amazing thing happened: he smiled.  Because that's what God's love does: it breaks through all the crap of this world and brings us hope in spite of our circumstances. Our situation doesn't change, but we move through it, maybe past it, and realize that although we are changed and shaped by our circumstances, we are not held captive by them.

And sometimes, you need a mom to remind you....

So Much to Learn...

As I pulled into the clinic parking lot, I passed a group of folks standing outside the Meyer Center waiting for the social services ministry to open up for the afternoon.  I noticed a woman, “Barbara,” whom I recognized from the clinic.  After parking my car, I walked around the building to speak to her and see how she was doing.

She told me that she was excited because she had spent some time with her teenage daughter (This is something we had prayed for together after she shared with me that her daughter had admitted to her that she was doing drugs.  When Barbara tried to talk her daughter into getting help, it strained their relationship and they had not been speaking).  She said that her daughter didn’t have money for food, and so Barbara had spent what little money she had to buy her a meal.  She explained to me that she had to leave her “baby” with no way of knowing if she’d have food to eat the following day, but she was trusting God to provide.

At about this point in her story, another woman approached us… another homeless woman who was also waiting for the Meyer Center to open and who had overheard our conversation.  She reached into her bag, pulled out a sub sandwich and said to Barbara, “Here, take this sandwich to your daughter.  I know it’s not much, but you are welcome to have it.”

And I was dumbfounded.  And ashamed.  This woman, who had nothing by our world’s standards, gave generously out of her nothingness.  She gave away probably the only thing of value that she had.  She didn’t pay all her bills first, place the appropriate amount in her retirement account, treat herself to Starbucks, and then donate the leftovers.  She saw an immediate need, and she immediately responded.

I have much to learn from those I serve…

DIY Wannabe

OK, first let me say that I am NOT a DIYer (although I certainly wish I were). Almost everything I've ever tried to do myself ended up in shambles. But every once in a while - after I've forgotten the last failure - I get the itch to try again. And every once in a blue moon, I achieve DIY success!!

I got this idea off of Emily C's pinterest page, and couldn't wait to give it a try. It had all the makings of success for me: it could be accomplished in one afternoon, it was cheap, and it didn't involve a sewing machine.

Here is what my kitchen "catch-all" drawer looked like on Friday:

After a quick trip to Lowes, $6 worth of Poplar board and $6 worth of Gorilla Glue, here's what it looks like now:

I think I am most proud of the fact that this little project was one that Jack and I did together (he's great at measuring and sawing);

If you're wanting to give this a try, the super-easy directions are here.

Now, it's off to tackle my bathroom drawers!....

Mission Waco Health Clinic

I liked her purse. She was articulate and attractive. I must admit, I was a little intrigued as to why she had come to the clinic. So, I went into the patient room to talk with her. Turns out, she used to be a substance abuse counselor at the Freeman Center until she lost her job in February. Now, she is technically homeless, and she and her two kids are living with her sister. She almost cried when she told me: “I knew about this place because I’ve referred people here. I never dreamed I’d come here myself.” One unfortunate event that snowballed into homelessness…

He was a young 46. He was polite, and seemed well-educated. He told me that because of a bad decision to drink and drive, he ended up in jail. And because he didn’t have the money or means to bond out, he spent almost 4 months there. He lost his motorcycle and his job. Now, for the first time in his life, he’s homeless (staying at the Salvation Army), jobless, and with no means of transportation. One very bad decision that ended up with a man on the streets…

And there you have it: two very tangible reminders that “There but for the grace of God go I.” How fragile our situation is. How very easily our safety nets can be torn to shreds. One small snag can begin an unraveling beyond our control.

But we serve a God who has Good News… not just about our life after death, but about our situation TODAY. We serve a savior who has the power to pull us from the miry clay and deliver us to abundant life NOW. The gospel of Jesus Christ isn’t just about where we go when we die, but where we’ll sleep tonight.

Thank you, Lord, for the compassion you have to see our need, the power you have to meet our need, and your faithful promise to always be with us. Let me be part of your good news that brings healing and restoration in this life as well as the one to come.

Sweet Dreams

Last night, I dreamed that Paul had come back to life. He was the same ole' sweet Paul, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he sat across the couch from me. We had a great conversation (I don't remember about what, I just remember that I couldn't stop smiling).

It was so real. His voice was so real. The feel of his bald head against my cheek was so real. The gratitude I felt to have him back once more was so real. But, even in the dream, I knew that it was temporary... that soon I'd be without him again.

I am so thankful for my "moment" with Paul. It is worth every ounce of hell I feel today as I yearn for him even more...

I BELIEVE in a changed life

I've written before about my friends, Hope and Naz, who are fighting to keep Naz in the US (if you haven't read their story, you can do so at www.wesupportnaz.com)

TODAY is Naz's hearing. Please pray.

God's plans, though always right and righteous, are seldom logical or convenient.

I can reconcile death in this life. It's suffering that I can't get my mind around...

Sometimes

Sometimes I don't want to be cheered up; I just want to be comforted. There is a difference.

Please Pray

Please join me as I pray for a young couple named Naz and Hope. I know them because they both work at Mission Waco, and I know them to be a precious Godly couple who have committed their marriage and their lives to seeking the Lord.

Naz is currently in prison right now and is in the process of being deported. Read his compelling story at their website: www.wesupportnaz.com. Be sure to click on the link, "Naz's story".

Please read... Please pray...

Jack's Video

Click HERE to see a great video created by Jack. He took the photos and the video himself while we were in Missouri visiting my folks for Thanksgiving. Hope you enjoy it...

Recipes Needed!!

Please help a wonderful cause by submitting your favorite recipes. See the message below from our friend, Mark Dungan, founder of the Neuroblastoma Foundation (NBF) and Lunch for a Cure.

Very, very little of any money donated to most well-known cancer causes actually go to eradicate children's cancers. As you can imagine, breast cancer, colon cancer, and many of the more common adult cancers receive the bulk of the money raised.

However, the NBF funds research exclusively targeted for Neuroblastoma.

Here's a note from Mark about how to be involved:

********************************************************************************************************************

The Neuroblastoma Foundation has officially begun collecting recipes for its 2010 edition of its Lunch for a Cure Cookbook. The proceeds from the sale of this cookbook go to fund important neuroblastoma research. But first, we need to collect some incredible recipes.

I am asking you to donate a recipe in the name of your child, grandchild, or friend that has neuroblastoma.

It is simple:
Go to http://lunchforacure.org/recipe
Follow the directions.
Your recipe will be included in the 2010 Lunch for a Cure Cookbook. The funds from the sale of that cookbook will go towards funding an incredibly important clinical trial for children with high risk neuroblastoma.

Additionally, every recipe given in honor or memory of a child with neuroblastoma will register that child (or family) with a chance to win a brand new Apple iPad. The drawing will be held on Thanksgiving Day, November 25, 2010.

Please hurry, we only have a short time to collect the recipes.

Please, donate a recipe to Lunch for a Cure and ask everyone you know to do the same.

With hope,
Mark - father to Sydney (stage 4 neuroblastoma)

Landowner, part 4

He didn't make assumptions: Now, I've already acknowledged this guy's persistence. He goes back to the market FIVE times to find those in need of a job. The fifth time he goes, there's only an hour left in the workday. Surely, he's surprised that there are STILL folks standing around without a job for the day.

Me... I would've looked at those men, judged them to be lazy and assumed they didn't want to work. I know that's what I would do because I've done it so many times. Homeless folks, folks begging on the street... these people CHOOSE to beg. That's why I can avoid eye contact with them and pass them by with only a twinge of guilt.

The truth is that I've actually met and gotten to know some of these same people. And, yes, SOME of them do indeed choose to beg on the street, some of them are actually lazy, and some of them will steal from you if given any opportunity. But not ALL of them. Some of them have been looking for a job for months, some of them are embarrassed to be accepting a handout, some of them have horrible health issues that prevent them from keeping a job. And some of them actually have a job - or two - but still can't afford to feed and clothe their family because minimum wage can't possibly provide all they need.

The Landowner didn't assume that the needy were lazy. You know what he did? He ASKED. There were people standing around without work, and he didn't know why, so he asked. He simply struck up a conversation and asked. Genius. He didn't ask with judgment in his tone or skepticism in his voice. He asked out of a genuine desire to know the answer and to do something about it if he could.

Asking instead of assuming.... hmmm. Maybe I'll be brave enough to give that a try...

The Landowner, part 3

He was involved: According to verse 8, the Landowner had a foreman. Why didn't he send him to hire his laborers? Why did he go himself? Maybe he wanted to be involved, to have a conversation, to look his laborers in the eye, make a deal and shake hands. It was almost as if he was raising them up to a level higher than societal norms placed them. By going himself to make a labor deal with these folks, he was showing them some level of decency and respect. Maybe he wanted to show those he was about to hire dignity by treating them the way he would want to be treated. When he could've sent someone else to do the work, he chose to become involved.

But that's so... messy. What if you give them a fair wage, and then they want more? What if you have to listen to their story about their sick mother who lives in Padukah, Kentucky and desperately needs a liver transplant? What if they want to come into your house to borrow the phone?.... messy.

It's also dangerous. The landowner didn't know these people he was hiring, and yet he brought them to his land and let them see all that he owned. What if they collaborated together to beat him up and rob him? What if they took the day's wage, but came back in the middle of the night to steal from him?.... dangerous.

Definitely messy. Absolutely dangerous. And yet this is our example of the Kingdom of Heaven.