October 18, 2011

Sweet Dreams

Last night, I dreamed that Paul had come back to life. He was the same ole' sweet Paul, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him as he sat across the couch from me. We had a great conversation (I don't remember about what, I just remember that I couldn't stop smiling).

It was so real. His voice was so real. The feel of his bald head against my cheek was so real. The gratitude I felt to have him back once more was so real. But, even in the dream, I knew that it was temporary... that soon I'd be without him again.

I am so thankful for my "moment" with Paul. It is worth every ounce of hell I feel today as I yearn for him even more...

2 comments:

MLP said...

Dearest Leigh...this post has the tears streaming down my face. I recently had a dream about Travis and it was so real and so amazing and it left me yearning for more from him. My story, in absolutely NO WAY compares to yours, because I do still have Travis here just in a different way. Oh Sweet Friend...I am just so very sorry that you can't have more moments with Paul like that. Since Hadlee has started to kindergarten, I very often miss her in the afternoons. She's just my little friend, ya know? On those days, I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AND HOW TERRIBLY MUCH YOU MUST MISS PAUL. The good thing about that is that I pray for you and your heart and your yearnings for him on those days. Love you dearly and I'm holding you extra close in my prayers today.

Just One Foot said...

I have to admit, I have not come here, to your blog, in many months. We've had a pretty crazy past six months and I'm just now coming up for air.
But this post made me cry. Just like Mindy, I sometimes think of you (and T, and Jack and Whit)when times get tough, and am reminded that at least we still have each other, here on EARTH. I can't imagine how deeply you miss Paul, and what a bittersweet gift it was to 'have him', even in a dream, for one night.
I have dreams like this, about my mom sometimes. It IS so comforting, but then reminds me in the morning just how much I miss her, and how much she's missed 'down here'.
Our family still talks about 'your Paul', and he is never forgotten. I couldn't believe how tall the other boys are, in your Christmas card. Time marches on, I suppose.
Hugs, from Colorado now, instead of New York. Now we're closer, and you can come see us, to get your hugs in person.
Love you, my friend
Judy