It was so real. His voice was so real. The feel of his bald head against my cheek was so real. The gratitude I felt to have him back once more was so real. But, even in the dream, I knew that it was temporary... that soon I'd be without him again.
I am so thankful for my "moment" with Paul. It is worth every ounce of hell I feel today as I yearn for him even more...
2 comments:
Dearest Leigh...this post has the tears streaming down my face. I recently had a dream about Travis and it was so real and so amazing and it left me yearning for more from him. My story, in absolutely NO WAY compares to yours, because I do still have Travis here just in a different way. Oh Sweet Friend...I am just so very sorry that you can't have more moments with Paul like that. Since Hadlee has started to kindergarten, I very often miss her in the afternoons. She's just my little friend, ya know? On those days, I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU AND HOW TERRIBLY MUCH YOU MUST MISS PAUL. The good thing about that is that I pray for you and your heart and your yearnings for him on those days. Love you dearly and I'm holding you extra close in my prayers today.
I have to admit, I have not come here, to your blog, in many months. We've had a pretty crazy past six months and I'm just now coming up for air.
But this post made me cry. Just like Mindy, I sometimes think of you (and T, and Jack and Whit)when times get tough, and am reminded that at least we still have each other, here on EARTH. I can't imagine how deeply you miss Paul, and what a bittersweet gift it was to 'have him', even in a dream, for one night.
I have dreams like this, about my mom sometimes. It IS so comforting, but then reminds me in the morning just how much I miss her, and how much she's missed 'down here'.
Our family still talks about 'your Paul', and he is never forgotten. I couldn't believe how tall the other boys are, in your Christmas card. Time marches on, I suppose.
Hugs, from Colorado now, instead of New York. Now we're closer, and you can come see us, to get your hugs in person.
Love you, my friend
Judy
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