It's easy for me to have faith in the face of someone else's problem. If my friend is having an issue with pride, then I'm convinced that her act of submission will result in supernatural results. If someone I know is having marriage problems, I can pray with complete confidence that the Lord will heal and restore their relationship. When I intercede for a friend who has lost their job, I fully expect our loving Father to provide for them. It's so easy to look into someone else's life and to have unwavering faith in God's promises. For them.
But my own life is different. My problems are somehow just beyond the reach of God. It isn't that the Lord has ever failed to show up. On the contrary, He's proven Himself quite faithful in my life, and yet, somehow, this time is different. Somehow, I am not nearly so confident that the sacrifice of obedience will result in the overflow of God's work in my life.
I can pray faithfully for you, and encourage you with all confidence toward obedience, and believe beyond any shadow of a doubt that the Lord will reward you to a supernatural degree, but in my own life, things seem a little more gray: little confidence, puny faith, and conviction that is sketchy, at best.
I have wrestled with why this is, and come to the conclusion that it's all about the DOING. I can have faith in God's work in your life because I don't have to bear your struggle or endure your fight. I can be sure that your act of obedience will result in God's work and glory because I don't have to be the one who obeys.
In other words, it's a faith that hasn't moved from my head to my heart. It's a faith that will allow me to nod and say "amen" to our preacher when he states that God will exalt us when we humble ourselves and swallow our pride, and yet, when the time comes for me to follow through in my own life, I'm suddenly not so sure. It's a faith that knows the right answer and what to do and yet doesn't have the muscle to get the job done... which causes me to consider a frightening thought: perhaps it's not FAITH at all.
Whatever it is, it's all I've got, and so I can only do one thing: give it to the Lord and ask Him to transform it. But the hard part is that His transformation process is often a painful one that requires humility, obedience and sacrifice.
Will it be worth it? My head says yes. Will you pray for my heart?
9 comments:
Leigh,
This is why God gives us the Body of Christ. We need each other because we are weak. We can be strong for each other even though our own hearts are so weak. As you lift up your friends - know that we are lifting you up on a daily basis - and we have confidence that He will give you whatever you need.
Much love and many prayers
Yes, I will pray for your heart!!! Thinking of you daily...
Mindy
What anonymous said!!
You have encouraged me so many times, without even realizing it. Know that you have a huge army of folks who continue to love and surround your family, from all corners of the globe. :) xoxo Janet
You bet!
This anonymous dittos what that anyonmous said up there!! We are with you girl!
Add me to the group that is siding with anonymous. You are a gift to all of us and if, by lifting you up, we can help you heal, so be it.
Rooting for you from all ends of the earth.
judy
Leigh,
I will pray for you without ceasing. I know you are struggling but please know that you are a beacon of light for many of us, an true example of what it means to be a good mother.
May this Mother's Day bring you peace and joy as you lovingly hold your two earth angels and also as you hold your angel in heaven in your heart.
God bless you and keep you forever.
Your simple and beautiful request reminds me of Solomon in 2 Chronicles 1. He said to God, "Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?" God said to Solomon, "Since this is your heart's desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have."
I believe God will give you your heart's desire as well... that you will have true and lasting "heart faith." I'd be willing to bet you're closer to that than you think. The biggest part of the battle in our spiritual lives is often recognizing our needs and shortcomings. You've done that. You're on your way.
Bless you, Leigh. Today on Mother's Day and always.
I can't think of any great figures in the Bible that did not struggle with faith and how to lead their lives in Christ - just the day to day living. We are weary and tired because we're in this world -- not our home. Of course you continued to be lifted up in prayer - we are all in this together, and it is not easy. God knows what is in your heart! Stay strong in Him.
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